Worthless Cause's blog

The World Opines on Arizona

So, if you don't live in Arizona, especially along the border, can you lighten up on the new immigration law?

I mean, I'm not that into Arizonan's opinions on whether taxi fares in NYC should be raised. This is the same thing. "All politics is local," the libs love to say.

Take these U.N. human rights experts - an oxymoron, emphasis on moron. According to them, Arizona's new law on illegal immigration could violate international standards, whatever that means.

They claim "a disturbing pattern of legislative activity hostile to ethnic minorities and immigrants has been established...that may allow for police action targeting individuals on the basis of their perceived ethnic origin."

Of course, they leave out the fact that the law already exists (hence the term illegal immigration), or that - as of yet - there hasn't been an incidence of this so-called targeted police action.

But that's not my point anyway. Whether you love the law or hate it - the U.N. spouting off on this crap is like Hitler giving advice on Hanukah shopping.

Take Mexico's Jorge Bustamante - who must be pissed that it's a crime to be in the U.S. illegally. Just like Mexico. In fact, you could end up in jail for years if you're caught there illegally. Here's a tip Busta: focus on why so many of your citizens are coming here, instead of staying there. Something tells me the human rights abuses are a tad worse - if by tad, you mean "Eso es pura mierda."

And of course, there's Farida Shaheed. She's from Pakistan - a shining human rights beacon. As long as you overlook persecution of women, gays, children, religious minorities, non-Muslims, Muslims and sexually harassed goats. But why worry too much about thousands of "honor killings," when a Phoenix cop just asked a Hispanic for his license because of a busted tail light.

Shaheed, don't like it, mocking the flash car.

What else can I say about UN human rights experts?

That they're worth every penny. (they're unpaid.)

If you disagree you are a racistas homófobos.

SEX AND THE SINGLE JIHADIST

So I spent Sunday morning watching TV (in my shorty robe), witnessing many experts ride the "root causes of terrorism" merry-go-round.

They expressed surprise that so many well-educated and well bred men end up trying to kill us - as if a diploma from University of Bridgeport makes you immune to poisonous ideology. But as long as they focus on the bomber and not what made him a bomber - it's like mistaking meatloaf for the recipe.

The fact is, these guys - despite their education - are seduced by a belief system devised to offer something they can't find anywhere else.

Recognition.  (The shortest road to fame, is infamy.)

Think about how it works in America.  If you're a young man out to impress a girl, you join a band.  Or become a comic.  Or spend your evenings obsessing over your quads at the gym.  (I can donkey squat thrust 450 lbs; I have pictures.)

But few alternatives exist for jihad-embracing losers because their culture completely demonizes women!

Men are left angry and unsatisfied - and most important, immune to the soothing sensibilities of women.

So they join death cults that promise all the virgins. (later, of course)

Angry men, meet radical Islam.

It's a match made in heaven.

It has nothing to do with education or class.

It has to do with the sexual hopelessness of young men trapped in an insane system that was created specifically to stifle natural human desire and capitalize on the anger that results.

Which is why the only people who can help stop this idiocy are the women of Islam.

They need to remind their men, that the women are here, on earth.

Not up there.

There are many paths to getting laid apart from murder and suicide.

I prefer roofies and wine coolers.

Motives for the Media

Okay, here's my favorite headline of the day - no, make that year.

Take a look-see, for yourself, see.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100505/ap_on_re_us/us_times_square_car_bomb>

Yes, the AP headline reads: "NY car bomb suspect cooperates, but motive mystery."

Yeah it's only a mystery if you're in the media, and really stupid. Everyone else pretty much understands why the terrorist left a fuel bomb in an area filled with families.

He hates us. He hate our country, our culture. He wants you dead.

But the media - an entity full of fragile egos and bubble-encased boobs - just can't see that. In fact, it's kinda awesome how huge and gaping their blind spot toward radical Islamic fundamentalism is. If only there could be other motives for the mayhem, so they'd never have to place blame on anything (except America, of course).

So I thought I'd help them out, and find motives the media could be comfortable with.

So why did Faisal Shahzad try to blow up Times Square?

-Obviously, Global Warming. The increasing temperature forced him to jog at night, and he found the sunlight oppressive. Plus, it made his beard itch.

-Wall Street greed. Faisal had just seen "Capitalism-A Love Story," became enraged, but got lost and ended up in the theater district. Better luck next time.

-Bill Ayers never returned his sweatpants after that weekend in Catalina. Sure, it was a great time, but those sweatpants had sentimental value.

-Lenscrafters was completely out of the Rachal Maddow collection. So he had to settle for a David Shuster knockoff.

-the latest incarnation of "The Lion King" was unoriginal and passionless. Worse, it didn't reflect the damage George Bush did to the world the way "American Idiot" did.

-They're building a Wal-Mart down the road, and their affordable prices deeply offended his "mom and pop" sensibilities.

-Norman Mailer doesn't blog nearly as much on the Huffington Post as he used to.

-The electrolysis didn't work on his pubes.

-The lack of diversity in the workplace is disgusting - well, except for MSNBC. They get a pass because their hearts are in the right place.

-That same sex marriage won't lead to the option of marrying a goat.

- That George Clooney didn't find anyone at the end of "Up in the Air." Although I suppose - he did find himself.

And..

-Those evil tea partiers made of mockery of Islam with their delightful bacon and egg salad sandwiches.

I'll stop there, because it really is the tea partier's fault -for they created the climate of hate that only encouraged Shazhad's actions In fact - I'd say the car bomb was a direct result of the tea partiers, the new Arizona immigration bill, Rush Limbaugh, offshore drilling, and of course: Fox News.

Because all that stuff is evil. Unlike, you know, real evil.

Earth Day Predictions, 1970

Earth Day Predictions, 1970

"We have about five more years at the outside to do something."
• Kenneth Watt, ecologist

"Civilization will end within 15 or 30 years unless immediate action is taken against problems facing mankind."
• George Wald, Harvard Biologist

"We are in an environmental crisis which threatens the survival of this nation, and of the world as a suitable place of human habitation."
• Barry Commoner, Washington University biologist

"Man must stop pollution and conserve his resources, not merely to enhance existence but to save the race from intolerable deterioration and possible extinction."
• New York Times editorial, the day after the first Earth Day

"Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make. The death rate will increase until at least 100-200 million people per year will be starving to death during the next ten years."
• Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist

"By...[1975] some experts feel that food shortages will have escalated the present level of world hunger and starvation into famines of unbelievable proportions. Other experts, more optimistic, think the ultimate food-population collision will not occur until the decade of the 1980s."
• Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist

"It is already too late to avoid mass starvation."
• Denis Hayes, chief organizer for Earth Day

"Demographers agree almost unanimously on the following grim timetable: by 1975 widespread famines will begin in India; these will spread by 1990 to include all of India, Pakistan, China and the Near East, Africa. By the year 2000, or conceivably sooner, South and Central America will exist under famine conditions....By the year 2000, thirty years from now, the entire world, with the exception of Western Europe, North America, and Australia, will be in famine."
• Peter Gunter, professor, North Texas State University

"Scientists have solid experimental and theoretical evidence to support...the following predictions: In a decade, urban dwellers will have to wear gas masks to survive air pollution...by 1985 air pollution will have reduced the amount of sunlight reaching earth by one half...."
• Life Magazine, January 1970

"At the present rate of nitrogen buildup, it's only a matter of time before light will be filtered out of the atmosphere and none of our land will be usable."
• Kenneth Watt, Ecologist

"Air pollution...is certainly going to take hundreds of thousands of lives in the next few years alone."
• Paul Ehrlich, Stanford University biologist

"We are prospecting for the very last of our resources and using up the nonrenewable things many times faster than we are finding new ones."
• Martin Litton, Sierra Club director

"By the year 2000, if present trends continue, we will be using up crude oil at such a rate...that there won't be any more crude oil. You'll drive up to the pump and say, `Fill 'er up, buddy,' and he'll say, `I am very sorry, there isn't any.'"
• Kenneth Watt, Ecologist

"Dr. S. Dillon Ripley, secretary of the Smithsonian Institute, believes that in 25 years, somewhere between 75 and 80 percent of all the species of living animals will be extinct."
• Sen. Gaylord Nelson

"The world has been chilling sharply for about twenty years. If present trends continue, the world will be about four degrees colder for the global mean temperature in 1990, but eleven degrees colder in the year 2000. This is about twice what it would take to put us into an ice age."
• Kenneth Watt, Ecologist

Drunken Mower-Riding Hillbilly Gets Tased

Drunken Mower-Riding Hillbilly Gets Tased

DEEPAK'S DEEP TWEETS

So Deepak Chopra, otherwise known as "the dude full of shit," has finally taken responsibility for something awful that isn't one of his books. I am referring to Sunday's 7.2 earthquake along the border of Mexican and the United States.

He wrote to his Twitter followers (who I like to call Twits, because anyone following Deepak, has to be one):

"Had a powerful meditation just now -- caused an earthquake in Southern California."

Later, he added:
"Was meditating on Shiva mantra & earth began to shake." "Sorry about that."

I suppose this passes for humor in the Chopra household, or he might have been serious. Either way, it's kinda odd. If he's kidding, then it's always nice to see a practitioner of peace joking about an event that kills a few people.

Now, if he's serious (which I think he is), then it further exposes the hilariously massive ego of this alternative-medicine huckleberry. This guy believes his mumbo jumbo is so powerful that it actually moves tectonic plates. Crap, maybe Hugo Chavez is onto something: it wasn't seismic science after all - but evil capitalists!

And that's what Chopra is: an evil capitalist. He's evil because he often denigrates the American system, while taking full advantage of it: selling DVD's, books, seminars and wellness programs that soak people for thousands of dollars. He is a true capitialist, even if what he's capitalizing on is lonely middle-aged women.

That's not so much earthshaking as it is nauseating.

Bad Summer Santa...

Bad-santa1

Christmas always reminds me of the time I discovered there was no Santa Claus. I woke up around 1 a.m., and wandered from my bed into the living room where I found my dad in his pajamas laying out presents under the tree. He told me to go back to bed, and I did - but I was crushed to see the illusion destroyed. So much so, it still bugs me - and it happened almost TWO WEEKS AGO!

It was like it was yesterday morning...  and I'm 36...  and it wasn't my real dad...   he's just some guy from the damn Port Authority that we had to shack up with for the night... welcome to army core of friends of the army core of engineers.  damnit!  (my mom likes him)

go figure, the democrats are going to be showing up in at 1am, sliding down the chimney with a giant bag full of shit!

Like a phony Santa, the health care bill cannot arrive in broad daylight - or you'll expose the illusion. The same thing can be said for that "non-binding legal agreement" Obama took with him from Copenhagen. He should have just brought us clogs.

And you know, both examples are a lot like the type of gifts you get from selfish relatives who really wanted the gifts themselves.

A. The health care bill is like a puppy. The purchaser buys it for himself, really -as an ego boost to see how excited the kids gets. Then of course, the gift-giver is nowhere in sight when it's time to paper train, feed, and rise off the little shit covered furball.

That's health care - except health care reform will shit over more than just the carpet.

B. The climate change agreement is a less destructive but an utterly hopeless kind of present - it's a gift card for a store you want nothing from...

Think Sharper Image, except everything needs to be wound up before it falls apart.

Just because Uncle Gore owns stock in it, he thinks you should be grateful. Believe me, that gift card is going nowhere except the drawer where you keep the stray UNO cards.

The upside with Christmas? You can return everything.

If we could only do the same with all the rest of this shit!

Let the Pol's arrive in peace...

So, I'm wearing pants.  Unusual since I learned the new laws here in the lower end of...  fine, it simply means that another Rasmussen Poll has arrived!

And - to echo every single hack editorial writer - it's bound to cause a "chilling effect" among whatever needs chilling.

According to the poll, 65 percent of Americans say they won't make major lifestyle changes to help the environment.

These findings, of course, will be filed under "idiot America" by our greenies stateside, and those abroad.

Yep - It's just another example of how selfish and short-sighted we dumbasses really are. Screw the earth. All we care about is our monstrous SUV's, our Play Stations, and of course, our vintage collection of shrunken spotted owl heads.

I have 58.

So when not frenching Hugo Chavez, Sean Penn will shake his head ruefully. Al Gore will sob quietly in his air conditioned silo made of coffee table books. Tim Robbins will try to suffocate himself in a biodegradable, but reusable shopping bag.

Hooray, I say - because these freaks are wrong. The reason why Americans are less likely to make said changes isn't because they don't care about the earth - it's that they just don't care for the propagandists who browbeated them into caring about the earth.

So whose fault is that? Well, it's Gore's, and every single manmade global warming apostle out there. By abandoning reasoned debate found in just about every major scientific arena, and instead embracing media friendly, self righteous hysteria - they became a noxious mixture of Chicken Little and Mrs. Kravitz.

HE'S COME ABOUT THE REAPING

Monty Python-The Meaning of Life-Death

Grassy Knoll? More like Assy Knoll.

So in her most recent video for her song "Window Seat," performer Erykah Badu removes all of her clothes while walking along the path where JFK was shot.

In a way, it's like strip poker for Oliver Stone.

Offended? Not me. This is daring! Edgy! Flabby!

Check it out, check it outers!

 

ERYKAH BADU WINDOW SEAT OFFICIAL VIDEO

Sstart at 4:24 to when she gets naked.

Now that's artsy!  Wanna know how arsty?  Well, the Washington Post describes it as a "big, bold artistic statement!" And they should know - they employ Howard Kurtz's hair.

Kurtz

Back to the nude thing - which to many is seen as daring, when it's really just unfair... to me.

Consider if I did the same thing as Erykah, say, in Bryant Park, around three a.m. I'd get hauled in!

Don't ask me how I know this - I just do...

(I didn't even get my action beads back.)

But the video doesn't end there. After all - nudity is so Demi Moore, Vanity Faire 1991 - and we need something really shocking.

(Go to 4:56 when she's shot)

Didn't see that coming!??!

Well, actually I did.

We all did.

Now, one could say that the real silliness of this video is how this "artist" makes a national tragedy about herself. It's beyond narcissism - it's super-duper-quadruple-narcissism.

Maybe next video, she'll dress up like the World Trade Center.  The planes could be Big Macs.

But, it gets worse.

At the end of the video, she gives a speech.

Hear it out, hear it outers...

(Start tape at 5:04)

Okay, let me get this straight. She says...

"They move in packs, ingesting more fear with every act of hate...."
"They feel most comfortable in groups - less guilt to swallow."
"They play it safe, are quick to assassinate what they do not understand."
"They are us."

Hmm...  I wonder who she means!

So, let's digest this: America is full of angry hate groups who are out to kill our leader. I mean, that has to be the message: why else would she reenact the JFK assassination - and end with that finger-wagging speech?

But her dopiness is magnified by a simple fact: the man who killed JFK was a pathetic loner, drenched in commie ideology. For her to ignore that simple fact, in order to condemn "us" as nefarious assassins - makes her worse than offensive.

It's makes her boring.

Yes, Erykah, you're boring.

You're just another conformist playing in an echo chamber - desperate to revive a flailing career by parroting the same crap you'd find in a Daily Kos chat room.

Worse of all - the song sucks.

Erykah - congrats - you put the bad in badu.